so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
