He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
