I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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