Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
