I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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