don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
