i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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