i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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