So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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