am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
