I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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