I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
