Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
