he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
