I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
