If i come over, it means nothing
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
