the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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