Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The adults are the big ones right?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
