I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you would pick up someone in the library
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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