He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
