so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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