he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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