i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
