I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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