Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize