We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm really busy with my period
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