i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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