I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
