I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
