my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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