This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
