i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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