i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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