Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
