We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
