youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
