You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
