drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
