You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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