Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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