Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
do herpes really smell.
I just gift wrapped bread.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
