If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
