dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
