Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
