tell your sister to shave her snatch
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
