I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
