So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
