Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize
