She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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