he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
two words...techno handjob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
