Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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