We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
