Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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