i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
