bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
