I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize