Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
