Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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