I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How external is "for external use only"?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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