i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
